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Posted By Opening the Heart

Change has been happening so swiftly,
When I pause to take a moment i see:
I'm in the autumn of my life.
I look different act different, feel different.
All my life, I've had the great good fortune
To be a tree that knew nothing but growth:
Sure, there were storms to endure,
but I loved the lush greenness and fullness of my leaves,
I loved standing on my own,
I loved the song of the wind through my branches,
Chanting the sound of God’s creation with other trees.
I loved sending out my seed and watching a child grow;
I loved meeting you, and reshaping our garden together.
Lately I have been surprised to find myself
turning from green into so many different hues.
I don't know what color comes next.
I'm surprised all the time.
I can only guess what it's like for you.
I've noticed an ever changing pattern forming around my base:
I've started to shed leaves.
I had heard of this happening,
yet, as I experience it,
I realize I could never have imagined it, myself:
the shock of realization that endless summer is ending,
followed by promise of the deep soothing silence of winter,
oneness with everything in the velvety darkness.
Meanwhile, I have a lot of living to do:
I have love to offer, sunrises to admire, laughter to share.
I have clients to assist on their life’s journey;
(Dis-ease has made me a better therapist, more daring, compassionate.)
I have songs to sing, an album to record, just 30 years in the making;
(Disease has shown me how precious is limited Healthy Time.)
I have god to find.
I rely on tree doctors to prop me up
and give me pills that prevent my limbs from shaking when there is no wind.
I listen to tree surgeons proposing how they would snip and saw,
putting an artificial bough here or electrodes there, up in my crown;
I enjoy Christmas tree lights but this is something else entirely!
I would prefer to listen to the sound of squirrels,
playing in my branches, of birds alighting and folding wings.
Nevertheless, life remains satisfying and wonder-fillled, if in a new way,
for the ever-changing patterns and tints are beautiful,

beyond my control.
Best I can do is align myself with what is.
Once we move beyond fear and its companions, grief and rage, we simply accept what is.
I am still me:
My heart is still my heart, my roots are still my roots, my sap is still my sap.
my soul is my soul.

Nelson Adler