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Posted By Opening the Heart

Question from an OTH Facebook Page follower:
How does one live one's life after the feelings are flushed through the body, so that they don't accumulate in the body in the future?

Linda's Response:
Thank you for asking this question. I don't have the definitive answer to this, but I can tell you what I know so far. When you say "after the feelings are flushed through the body", two distinct groups of feelings come to mind. The first group consists of the more recent feelings one has had. The second group contain what I think of as more "historical" or stored feelings from unresolved pain or trauma that happened awhile ago.
Sometimes a weekend or two of an experience like Opening the Heart can be enough to "flush" more current hurts from the system and then one wants to stay current with processing life's new hurts as they occur. However I have found that even if one does this, if the backlog of past trauma is still stored, it can get in the way even if one is right on top of processing current hurts. The reason is because of course, it is easy for all the the past "material" to constantly get triggered.

So, the first answer for me in terms of staying current and clear is that it helps to take care of any past, stored trauma. This can take some real sustained emotional work over time, and a real commitment. Once one has gotten to the point where the past hurts feel like they no longer have the same kind of pull or "charge", then it is easier to stay current. In terms of staying current this is what I have seen be helpful.
1. Make a commitment to keep one's heart open. This means making a decision to slow down the pace of one's life so that one has time to feel their feelings, every single day. Feelings live in the body but tension makes it harder to feel them. A relaxed body and mind makes it easier.
2. Once one begins living more with an open heart and feeling more, one will get hurt more. We of course build up all that armor for a reason - it protects a bit from intense emotion! So, since the open heart will be feeling more hurt more often, simply as a part of life, in order to stay clear one would have to spend more time on a daily basis working through these hurts. This would mean taking a break, sitting with oneself and releasing that hurt or figuring out what needs to be done in order to move through the hurt. Since many hurts happen in relation to other people, often once one has discovered that one feels hurt, some kind of kind but assertive communication needs to occur for things to be set right. This usually means boning up on relationship communication skills. One favorite of mine that has never failed me in the past 35 years is called the "Whole Message Model". You can find it online. Along with this step I have found goes a commitment to doing whatever you can to heal the situation that has caused the hurt, if at all possible. This might require letting go of pride, accepting responsibility for one's own part in the proceeding, apologizing, etc.
3. The last part is to then rededicate oneself to returning to the open-hearted state. I've learned a lot from watching how children do that. Something that is also very effective for me is any kind of music that has that effect on me. To be an adult and live in an open-hearted way with one's feelings mostly in a clear state is a real spiritual path. It takes a lot of commitment and focus, and requires time set aside on a regular basis to practice it. However the rewards are phenomenal. Not only can one accomplish those goals more often, but as the emotional/mental state clears then somehow one's life starts to improve by a kind of osmosis. Somehow there arise less and less opportunities for hurt. Open-hearts seem to attract other open-hearts and even at times more positive life circumstances.
Thanks again for asking this deep question. Good luck with this process. Let us know how it goes.

 

 

 
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