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Posted By Opening the Heart

Part One of this Article is here

 

I wonder about the unlearning.  Can't really go back and re-work the script.  I wasn't loved for coloring outside the lines, talking back or trespassing. "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  And what does that teach me about intimacy?

In Japan I climbed a tall fence and skinny-dipped in a private pool at midnight on my 23rd birthday.  The risk was exhilarating.  I didn't want to tango with the Japanese Criminal Justice system as much as I wanted to cool my young birthday body down and dive into spontaneity with my feisty friend, Leah.

At work I drink strong coffee from a bossy mug.  It says, "Well behaved women seldom make history."  I know that.  It also says, "Good girls go to heaven, but bad girls go everywhere."
This, it seems to me, is a no-brainer.

At 50, I want to go everywhere.  To say "yes" and "no" from my belly.  To look beneath appearances to the very essence of a thing.  To make or write something and then lose it under my passenger seat, or suck it up in the car wash vacuum cleaner hose.  To lose my way and learn the familiar curves of a back road.  I've always cooked without a recipe.  It has never come naturally to me to measure things, or balance my checkbook.

Mostly, it is the middle of things I try to see into, the place where all facets converge.  The way flavors combine and textures.  The grain of a wood counter top.  The palm of a hand that wants to open.  In the middle of so much, I am still learning to break my crayons, peel off the paper, use instruments sideways, let the colors make love and merge.  Blend with my fingers, make mistakes, wipe my hands on my pants.  Come home filthy and freer.

"You do not have to be good...you simply have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves." (Mary Oliver)

My soft animal sends a soft prayer outwards - to have no secrets from herself, to have more mud on the pads of her paws.

 

 

Come meet and work with Donna at The Opening the Heart Workshop™ at Kripalu Institute, Stockbridge MA March 19 - 21 2010

 
1 Comment(s):
Louise said...
Soooo Beautiful dear friend! I love to read the language of your heart. Peace to you
February 28, 2010 09:46:37
 
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