Have you ever won the lottery? No, me either. But you have had one of Those Days. I know
you
have. One of those days when you smell the new-mown grass for the first time in the
spring; or
when you sat on a sand dune with the warm sun on your face and watched the wind
breaking the
tops of the waves into a thousand prisms of light; or when you walk past a store and you see
the
socks you love and never thought you'd find them again anywhere- and they're on sale; or
when a
stranger does a kindness for you- just because. One of those days when the sun comes out
from
behind a bank of clouds and the world just seems softer, greener, more hopeful. You can
actually
feel your heart growing big enough to take it all in and you breathe it deeply inside to the
places
where light has been dimmed and muted.
I know that you have been graced with one of those days and the memory of it carries
us such a
long way through the desert times. And, at least for me, what I experience on Those Days is
one
simple and huge thing: gratitude. And what I do when that feeling holds me is that I express
thankfulness. Honestly, it doesn't matter to whom: a parent, a partner, a stranger, God. What
matters, I think, is the expression of thanks giving.
I remember years ago feeling this gratitude one day and deciding that I would practice
giving
thanks every day for my life. And so, the journey began. I don't really remember the date or
the
season that my intention began. I just remember failing miserably. I would remember weeks
after
my resolution that I had not remembered, even once.... So, I committed to being aware of
the life
I'd been given and, again, decided that I would express this gratitude every day. Well, in the
months after my rededication, I found that I remembered about a third of the time- pretty
discouraging, sleeping through two thirds of my days without giving thanks. But I was not
about
to give up.
I decided to tie this practice to something I did every day. After all, how many times did
I forget to
brush my teeth? So before every meal I would just close my eyes and offer a quiet prayer. If I
happened to be with someone, I would do this practice privately, to not make anyone else
uncomfortable.
Now it is impossible for me to sit for a meal without giving thanks.
Years ago I watched the engineers change the course of the river running through
downtown
Providence. And I learned something that's probably pretty evident to most people: the point
at
which the river actually changed directions was where the most work hours, cement,
scaffolding,
etc. were given. But once that was done, once the "habit" was established, the river flowed.
By establishing this new river flow, I came to an interesting awareness: that the
experience of
gratitude didn't just follow one of Those Days- IT ACTUALLY CREATED THEM!
Martin Seligman, Ph.D., the father of Positive Psychology, professor Emeritus at the
University of
Pennsylvania, suggests that making a daily list of things for which we're grateful; or writing
a 300
word letter to someone who has changed our life for the better, and actually delivering it to
that
person, will make you "happier and less depressed one month later".... He guarantees it!
With Love and Respect, Jon
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