Its interesting how events, ideas and circumstances frequently come together in acts of unexpected coincidence. I am currently enjoying two lovely experiences.

The first is as a participant in the UMass Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) created by Jon Kabat Zinn. Facilitating the  OTHWorkshop isn't stressful, but I certainly experience stress in other areas of my life. At OTH we actively promote self care, so participating in MBSR is just me "walking my talk".

The second treat I am relishing is reading Chris Cleave's novel Little Bee, the story of a young woman refugee from Nigeria trying to make it on her own in London.

On Saturday the MBSR program ran a day long retreat. It could not have come at a better time for me, having just completed a strenuous few weeks preparing technical needs for a major dance performance.  To spend the day in silence, meditating, doing gently exercise and yoga with over a hundred others was a deeply refreshing and healing experience. At the end of the day there was a half hour opportunity for people to share experiences and discoveries they had made. It did not surprise me that many reported an up-welling of emotions such as sadness and anger at various times during the meditation sessions. The curious thing was that the participants making these reports seemed to believe that these emotional up-surges were scary and somehow 'wrong'. It was as if the meditation sessions had trawled up material that needed to be left deep beneath the surface. Just like the Innuit fisherman in Jon's recent post people wanted to run away from what had come up. I was reminded how deeply our society has conditioned us into believing that some emotions are ugly, inconvenient and needing to be hidden away - even from ourselves.

On the same evening I read the following in Little Bee:
"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived."
I immediately wanted to share this with the MBSR participants who had been 'shy' about feeling their emotions.

Every one of us carries emotional scars. They are as common as the physical scars we collected in childhood falling off bikes and swings and skateboards. But scars that are covered up and hidden do not heal. They simply continue to fester. Healing scars means finding a safe place to open them to the light of consciousness and compassion. For me one of those safe places has been The Opening the Heart Workshop.

Our next workshop is just two weeks away! March 19 - 21 at Kripalu Institute in Stockbridge MA.

I hope that we will see you there.

A disciple of Bankei asked him:

I become overwhelmed by anger.

I want to be rid of it but I cannot be.

What shall I do?

Bankei did not say a word,

just stared deep into the disciple's eyes,

who began to sweat in those few heavy minutes of silence.

He wanted to break the silence but couldn't gather the courage.

Then Bankei laughed and said; It's strange!

I searched and searched but could find no anger within you.

Still, show me a little of it, here and now.

The disciple said: It is not always here.

It comes all of a sudden, how can I produce it now?

Bankei laughed and said:

Then it is not your true nature.

That remains with you always

- and if your anger had been part of it you could have shown it to me.

When you were born it was not with you

- when you die it will not be with you.

No, this anger is not you.

There is a mistake somewhere.

Go away and think again, search again, meditate again.

Osho 'A Cup of Tea'

I'd like to recommend a book for those of you who have taken or are considering taking The Opening the Heart Workshop™.

The Transformative Power Of Crisis by Robert M. and Jane Alter.

Along with Robert Gass and Judith Ansara Gass, Robert M. Alter was one of the original leaders of The Opening the Heart Workshop during its residence at Spring Hill in Ashby, Massachusetts.

 The Transformative Power of Crisis details the philosophical, psychological and spiritual themes underlying our work at Opening the Heart in a beautiful and accessible format. It was originally published in 2000 under the title How Long Till My Soul Gets It Right?

Here are some customer recommendations culled from Amazon.com:

After reading Robert and Jane Alter's book, cover-to-cover, I discovered a calmness, a peaceful feeling that no other book has ever given to me. In reading, I discovered that I am not alone in the many situations that life has visited upon me, and that there is a window that, when ready, anyone can climb through and find him or herself in a more tranquill place. Thank you, Robert and Jane, for a loving, spiritual, affirming and educational look at reality.

This is one of the most positive, nurturing and enriching books I have read on the subject of fulfilling goals, healing, strengthening relationships and boosting self-confidence. As a counsellor, I am continually searching for quality reading material to recommend, and this book will definitely be on the list.

While the book's title mentions 'crisis', I found that the stories and commentary applied to almost every facet of my life. I was taken aback by Alter's deep and wide understanding of the human condition in general, and I believe this book deserves to reach a broad audience. I don't often find books like this to be inspiring--usually you have to wade through chapters and chapters of muck--but almost every page of this book shone with wisdom.

And a recommendation from Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind

"The Transformative Power of Crisis embodies an earthy wisdom of the mind and soul that speaks to the heart of therapy. Many times in life I have longed for teachers like Robert and Jane Alter who could gently and truly lead me to face myself, while also seeing the divine light that shines through the human predicament. Their humor, wisdom, and vision enlighten every page of this honest guide to the journey of life. " 

Here is the first in an occasional series of self guided meditations. These meditations are good ways to calm the mind, empty mental clutter and ease stress and difficult emotions. In them we use the breath as a tool and our imagination as our guide. Each meditation involves imagining sending a complete in and out breath cycle to paticular narrowly focused parts of the body. This time we'll work with:

THE HEAD

Begin by finding a comfortable seated position. Settle yourself into a place where your body can be relatively still.

Close your eyes and gradually bring your attention to your breathing. There is no need to change anything about how you are breathing.

1) Let your inner focus bring your attention to your nostrils- the place where breath enters and leaves the body. Take a breath into the space inside your nostrils and imagine a hollowness, a sense of spaciousness inside them. Notice any relaxation of tensions around the nostrils as you do this.

2) Now bring your attention to your sinus area at the bridge of your nose. Take a breath into the space inside your sinuses and imagine a hollowness, a sense of spaciousness inside them. Notice any relaxation of tensions around the sinus area as you do this.

3) Bring your attention to the part of your head immediately behind the center of your eyebrows. Send the next breath into this place and imagine a hollowness, a sense of spaciousness being created there. Notice any relaxation of tensions around this area as you do this.

4) Use your imagination to send your next breath right up into the top of your skull. Allow the breath to relax and dissipate any tensions there simply by imagining a hollow, spacious emptiness.

5) Using your imagination again, send your next breath to the extreme back of your skull. Image an empty space there, wide and tall and open.

6) There is frequently tension at the place where the skull joins the backbone. In your imagination send the next breath deeply into this area. As you breath in allow that place to be infused with airy spaciousness. As you breath out notice the letting go.

7) On to the top of the throat. Breathe a great open space there.

8) Put the tip of your tongue gently on your hard pallette just behind your front teeth. Breathe a deep breath there.

9) and 10) Take two deep, emptying breaths into your whole head, imagining a hollow, empty space.

You can take more than one breath at each of the above stages if you find that works for you. You may also repeat the sequence as often as you would like.

As you lean the sequence you might like to have one of the pictures nearby. Feel free to copy them (female head is above, male head is below.)

Continuing in the tradition of "world's most inconsistent blogger" I'm back again after a five month hiatus. Once again, pressures of my day job have been occupying all my time and energy. I am the first to admit that keeping things in balance is not one of my more developed skills!

The Opening the Heart Workshop has been going through an organizational transition as well. After 10 years of holding up the business end of the workshop I have been passing over some of those responsibilities to my dear workshop co-presenters Linda (Aranda) and Donna (Macomber). This comes at a time when we are developing new and exciting variations of the original workshop to present to particular target populations - such as the recently berieved.  I will continue to be the OTH "Webmaster" - and hope to do a better job of keeping this blog updated on a regular basis.

The mission and purpose of this blog is in part to stay in touch with the many participants who have taken one or more of our workshops, it is also to offer support, encouragement and hopefully some humor to anyone with the desire to open their heart to life, love and laughter.

On this occasion I would like to point you all towards one of my favorite teachers, Gil Fronsdal. He has recently begun a series of talks on the EMOTIONS - and as working with emotions forms such a core part of the OTH Workshop, I want to share his wisdom with you. The series will be added to over the next weeks but he has already given an overview introduction and a teaching about fear. They can be found at:

http://www.audiodharma.org/talks-gil.html

Yes, I know that the title sounds really daunting and technical but I absolutely needed to alert you to this fascinating and engaging talk about the increasing scientific evidence supporting meditation as a key component of an emotionally healthy lifestyle.

Cognitive Neuroscience of Mindfulness Meditation

Enhancing 'emotional awareness and psychological flexibility' and inducing 'well-being and emotional balance' *(see below in Abstract) have always been core goals of The Opening the Heart Workshop™ I am absolutely convinced that a regular, supported meditation practice is an important tool in maintaining and extending the positive effects of the workshop.

I particularly recommend this video fo those who like to see the scientific evidence for the benefits of various forms of 'spiritual' practice.

ABSTRACT

Mindfulness meditation, one type of meditation technique, has been shown to enhance emotional awareness and psychological flexibility as well as induce well-being and emotional balance. Scientists have also begun to examine how meditation may influence brain functions. This talk examines the effect of mindfulness meditation practice on the brain systems in which psychological functions such as attention, emotional reactivity, emotion regulation, and self-view are instantiated. We will also discuss how different forms of meditation practices are being studied using neuroscientific technologies and are being integrated into clinical practice to address symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress.

Speaker: Philippe Goldin
Philippe is a research scientist and heads the Clinically Applied Affective Neuroscience group in the Department of Psychology at Stanford University. He spent 6 years in India and Nepal studying various languages, Buddhist philosophy and debate at Namgyal Monastery and the Dialectic Monastic Institute, and serving as an interpreter for various Tibetan Buddhist lamas. He then returned to the U.S. to complete a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology at Rutgers University. His NIH-funded clinical research focuses on (a) functional neuroimaging investigations of cognitive-affective mechanisms in adults with anxiety disorders, (b) comparing the effects of mindfulness meditation and cognitive-behavioral therapy on brain-behavior correlates of emotional reactivity and regulation, and (c) training children in family and elementary school settings in mindfulness skills to reduce anxiety and enhance compassion, self-esteem and quality of family interactions.

The purpose of this occasional series is to point you toward some of the inspiring talks freely available on the web. These recommended talks have been chosen because in one way or another they relate to or amplify teachings, practices and meditations that we present in The Opening the Heart Workshop™. Our hope is that these recommendations will encourage you to continue and develop your practice of Opening the Heart.

Today's recommendation is 'Feeling feelings'

This very personal talk be Kevin Griffin addresses the issue of working with feelings and the body during meditation. Information about Kevin  - and more of his talks and guided meditations - are available at his website

I am the luckiest of men in having friends who pour loving kindness in my direction!

On Monday I had a hospital appointment for a somewhat invasive diagnostic proceedure. It was my first time undergoing this proceedure and the information I was able to gather in advance about potential discomfort varied dramatically from 'no big deal' to 'ouch!!!' Under these circumstances, in spite of all effort to 'stay in the moment', my mind visited every conceivable state of apprehension. I found myself to be more anxious about the proceedure than about the results of the diagnosis. My imagination had me pinned down, writhing in pain unable to escape the torture.  I was exactly the opposite of the tough, resilient courageous male promulgated by the stereotype; I was in short - a wimp!

Just one of the blessings of my life is having male friends with whom I can freely and easily share what is happening 'on the inside'. I talked with Jon (Berenson - a co-facilitator of the OTH Workshop) and immediately, without hesitation he said, 'I'll be there. When is it?'

I was (and still am) blown away by the immediacy  of his kindness. There were no ifs, ands or buts. No matter that he lives more than 40 miles away. No matter that the appointment happened  to be at 8.30am in Downtown Boston MA- the other side of a very nasty Monday morning commute from Providence RI. No matter the absurd cost of gas to make the trip. No matter any of the many and varied 'considerations'  I might have pondered before making such an offer. The gift he gave was  unreserved and instantaneous.

As luck would have it the traffic on Monday was backed up along the (misnamed) South East Expressway and Jon called from the road to let me know that he was delayed. But it didn't matter. As I sat in the doctor's waiting room Jon's kindness was already there with me, giving me the support I needed and calming my anxiety.

Of course, the actual proceedure I had been dreading so much turned out to be painless. It was all over in less than 15 minutes. The anxiety I had been generating for over a week had been a complete waste of energy. I had allowed fear of the unknown to create a whole panoply of negative images.

I told Jon that I felt embarassed that I had wasted his time.

I wasn't getting it! Coming to support and help me was a pleasure for him: not a chore but something to be savored and enjoyed.  Loving Kindness is Jon's way. I am blessed by his friendship and so so grateful for his presence in my life.

Together we went for a late breakfast and laughed.

It is my sincere hope that the next time a friend calls for my support I will be able to offer it in the way Jon offered his to me. And if I can't that I will be forgiving of myself!

Jon sometimes incorporates a Loving Kindness meditation into the Opening the Heart Workshop. It is my hope to have a recording of his version available on this blog very soon.

One of the instructions we give most frequently at the OTH Workshop™ is "Breathe!!!!".

Becoming conscious of our breathing can immediately bring us into greater awareness of our bodies - the place where our feelings live.

There are many ways to develop a practice of "breath-noticing". One of them is called Anapanasati - a technique first taught by the Buddha 2,500 years ago. This technique is being brilliantly presented by Gil Fronsdal at The Insight Meditation Center in Redwood City, California and is being made freely available at the organization's web site. Gil's guided meditations and talks are clear, easy to follow, in short very "user friendly". There are quite a few of them - but don't be intimidated, you may dive in anywhere in the series and  do not have to listen to them in the order in which they were given.

For those of us who do not live close to a meditation retreat center, AND for those of us who find it difficult to maintain a reqular practice this series is an invaluable resource.

Link:

http://www.audiodharma.org/talks-anapanasati.html

The series is  available in Podcast format - incredibly useful for downloading to an IPod!  investigate the AudioDharma website's homepage where you will find a link to Podcasts near the bottom of the left hand side bar:

Link:

http://www.audiodharma.org/

or, if you have ITunes, open ITunes Store, click on Podcasts and search for AudioDharma

Good luck - I know that many of you will find Gil's inspiring talks and gentle guided meditations as helpful as I have